Edible Awareness

Edible Awareness

This Saturday, May 25^th 2013 there will be 49 countries participating in the march against Monsanto.  Who is Monsanto?

Monsanto is an agricultural biotechnology corporation.  Monsanto is the leading manufacturer of GMO.  What is GMO?

GMO stands for genetically modified organism.  How is this relevant to you, you may be wondering.  Most of the food you eat unknown to you has been genetically modified.

 What does it mean to genetically modify food?  Ok, I will try to make this as simple as possible- think of selective breeding.  Take two different species and make them mate to create a new species from the two.  For example, bring the cells of a cow and a pig together- this will create a pig with cowhide. Clearly this is not natural, but it is big business and yields large profits while facilitating illnesses within the American population.  Genetically modified foods have had “foreign” genes from other plants and animals inserted into its genetic code. 

I don’t know if you noticed, but within the last 10 years or so there appears to be an epidemic of people with various types of diseases that are brought on by “inflammation” like cancer…   I am no scientist, doctor or specialist, just a flaming feminist who is passionate about living a healthy life and seeks the same for others. 

Now let’s have a quick biology, chemistry session.  GH is a protein hormone, when injected into cows it stimulates the pituitary gland and the cow then produces more milk which means increased profits.  The FDA approved this modified gene GH despite scientist warning that this enhancement is a very strong chemical hormone that has been linked to increased breast cancer, colorectal and prostate cancer. 

There is so much data available to you online for to begin your own journey of awareness.  It is your right to choose and my goal of this blog is to enlighten my readers to what is happening so that more people can make conscious food and lifestyle choices. 

The call to action here is awareness and I passionately urge you to do the research.  Along with the research you must be active.  The power is in your wallet- what people decide not to buy anymore will eventually disappear from the shelves. 

And if you are interested in participating: the march against Monsanto will take place this Saturday 2pm at Union Sq. 

Yes, I will be there. 

ASHE’

Selah Rey

*if you have questions reply to the blog and I will respond- if I don't have the answer I will provide you resources that may better assist. 

In Pursuit of Ignorance

In Pursuit of Ignorance

Let’s get right in

Instead of morning papers we now read our news feeds on facebook, instagram and twitter when we get up in the morning.  Today during my calculated mid-day check of instagram I began hitting the un-follow button.  I became really annoyed at having to look at women’s asses EVERYDAY.  I have noticed that the same women post tens and hundreds of pictures of themselves throughout the day half ass and completely naked.  It leaves me saying WTF already. 

So I decided to have this conversation with a person sitting near me to get some perspective on this as they too were scrolling through their instagram.  I asked this guy, why are these girls putting full focus, all there, bare ass pictures of themselves on this public platform? I also stated, that I am not opposed to those that work in the erotic industry, but that these women aren’t even getting paid to exploit themselves and in my book that’s worse than prostitution.   

The young man told me that the girls are posting these types of photos for attention, validation, self-esteem and to hopefully get a chance to change their lifestyle.  When this guy said “lifestyle” I had the dummy face because I quickly became confused.  What lifestyle I asked? He said, “These chicks see reality tv women like Delishes from Flava of Love and Draya from Basketball Wives, and they aspire to have their lifestyles.  They see these tv personalities get fame and money from showing their bodies and they have hopes it will be them.  They also hope they can get a dude with some money that will take care of them, buy them designer bags, black label and purple label dresses and red bottom shoes.”

Then this guy said, “They are pursuing ignorance,” and of course I was like- voila!!! I know my next blog content…

 I am disturbed, frustrated and really confused as to why our young adult women do not think that they can obtain “lifestyle” through academic, intellectual, creative and entrepreneurial endeavors with their skirts and blouses intact.  And for the record I do not disagree with the wealth that reality and even porn stars have obtained, because honestly they are working and therefore they earned it. 

My confusion grows when I feel that these young women feel some sort of validation from the amount of “likes” they receive on their instagram pictures.  What the hell has happened to our society that approval comes from social media “likes” that doesn't even turn a profit?  Guys are going to like 9 out of 10 asses they scroll past on their network feeds. There's no "like" monogamy on instagram.  

OH MY!!! And let me not forget- dudes are talking about the  instagram porn stars in the most unsavory ways.  They share their pictures amongst their friends and they discuss all the ways in which they can violate their being.  Having to type that was exhausting for me because the reality of this is assaulting on the soul. 

We have a problem.  I believe it is very evident that television is the most influential communication medium right now and I urge those of you that are writers of every kind to begin script writing for various types of programming where we can begin showcasing Proverbs 31 type of women. And don’t be confused, a proverbs 31 woman is not a perfect woman, but a woman living with purpose and living ON PURPOSE. 

ASHE'

Selah Rey 

Where is the ambition?

Where is the ambition?

Let's talk...

Last week I was involuntarily brought into a conversation about a particular young lady’s career goals and I was actually left without words throughout that discussion.  The young woman has spent most of her early twenties as a stripper and an urban magazine model (think subzero).  She attempted to enter the work force and held down an office job for a few months while continuing to strip at night.  Currently this woman is in her late twenties and she was asked, what are you doing with your life?  Her answer left me speechless because it was both honest yet disappointing.  Her reply was, I’m still stripping and doing magazine shoots because there is no job out there for me. 

I had absolutely nothing to say in this conversation because I did not know where to start.  I knew for sure that the money she was making doing partially nude magazine shoots and from stripping was way more than what she would earn as an entry level account executive in most industries. So the question that plagued me was how did she get to this point, and is she really in a bad place, because honestly who am I to judge her income resources- as long as she harms no one. 

I also wondered what where her ambitions, have they changed over time or does she even have any ambitions other than to attempt to acquire wealth through the fast means of hyper sex.  I have no concrete opinion or feeling regarding her situation because for me it feels like judgment, but what I do have a concrete view on is how we shape and mold our little girls to ensure their paths can hopefully be absent of them having to sexually exploit themselves to survive in capitalist America.  

It is the job of the village of older women to actively teach the little girls, adolescents and young women around them their value.  Push your girls into the arts, math and sciences.  Force them to use their brains in ways that you would have never thought of at their age.  Make your girls read EVERYTHING.  Keep them informed on the world’s current events.  Take the little ladies to tea rooms, opera’s, science museums and children’s hospital to show the complexities of life. Encourage your girls to find mentors (shadow everything), join sports teams and enter academic competitions.  And never ever, ever compete with your daughters, sisters, nieces, granddaughters or cousins.  Competition and/or envy from a mother to a daughter and woman to woman is almost a sure shot to send that relationship to hell and add some issues to the pile that life will dump on her anyway. 

This is not a perfect formula to guarantee your girls won’t end up in XXL magazine or twerking at Magic City, but it will increase the odds of you raising a more well-rounded woman that has some culture with exposure in life including formal and informal academic pedigree.  And with this there will be a greater level of ambition for her adult endeavors.

What do you think?

ASHE’

Selah Rey

They do what you allow

They will do what you allow them to do…

If you have watched any television program or have any involvement in social media or have a network of friends, you have been a witness of some woman in distress over the behavior of her partner.  Women are mad, pissed off, annoyed, jaded, abandoned, rejected and just feeling unloved and unappreciated.  Do they have a right to feel this way? Of course. But, what concerns me is what behaviors women are tolerating that keeps them in the spin cycle of mad, pissed off, jaded, rejected and the rest. 

I would first like to attack- yes attack an action I have personally been on the receiving end of that women do.  Many times when a female gets into a relationship she can become head over heels in love and in that romantic bliss she somehow magically forgets she has friends, but she quickly remembers those friends when the alleged gentleman begins to make her feel like all the descriptive words above.  The danger in that is not only the potential loss of friendship, but you cut off outlets that help balance you out.  The male partner is unable to fulfill all the needs of a woman.  If you didn’t know women and men speak two different languages. 

Now on to the actual issue- tolerating cyclic behavior.  I find it interesting that women are more tolerable and forgiving of a man’s crap, but if another woman did anything remotely close to a man’s BS that woman would be swiftly cut off.  This is a very odd double standard and I invite you to explain it to me. 

Ladies, a lot of you are mad because you allow yourself to be the repeat receiver of various forms of abuse; continuous cheating, missed birthday’s, lack of quality time, unequal share of responsibilities and the greatest of all is your abuse of self and a dependency on that man to make you happy.  Trust me when I say this, if you invest time, money and energy into learning, defining and refining yourself- you will hands down tolerate less mess from ANYONE and whomever you are with will step up to get your attention and meet you where you are at or you will step out to get what you deserve. 

I believe so many of us allow men to be repeat offenders in our lives because we are afraid of being lonely.  For my under thirty girls I feel this is just a rite of passage, but to my Miss Thang’s over thirty, you all know better.  Take a chance on yourself.  And I am not saying nor promoting that women do not need men in their lives, but you need good, supportive, insightful, loving masculine men. 

The call to action here is to stop letting men and actually anyone do as they please with you, remember before you complain, they are only doing what you are allowing them to do.  So if you feel people are taking advantage of you, using or overlooking you, it is because YOU are ALLOWING it…

Switch Ya Style Up!

ASHE’

Selah Rey

Her Wedding not Your's

Her wedding not your’s…

A few weeks ago I began receiving request from readers on some issues they would like to see addressed in our literary love affair.  Among the concerns, marriage and weddings appear to be the hottest of topics right now. I am noticing a pattern within the realm of marriage and weddings; women are applying the pressure on other women regarding this matter. 

Now everyone is entitled to their opinion, but what is less practiced is the action of keeping your opinion to yourself sometimes.  If you are not an active player in someone’s daily life what makes your “assessments” valid, necessary or even warranted? Grant it we grow through our relationships with others, but there is a clear distinction between supportive constructive comments and critical condescending statements. 

Remember not everyone woman will get married or have children, this is just how our world works.  Why is it so difficult for others to grasp that we are all not the same? 

One of my readers wrote in stating, she has been in a relationship for over seven years and now she and her partner are deciding to get married- sounds fairly normal, yes? Well this reader was met with some hostility regarding this, she was told by some acquaintances of hers that it makes no sense for her to get married now because she has been in the relationship so long so what is the point!

I apologize in advance for what I am about to say, but my first instinct is to back slap the person saying what is the point.  If any of you can enlighten me to the meaning behind “what is the point” I will be open to listening, but I am confused at how someone can disregard two peoples decision to determine on their own when they are mature enough to enter the union of marriage.  My reader was further advised by this lower frequency being that attending her wedding wouldn’t be special, it would be like going to a regularly scheduled party. 

My greatest concern is not with the person who made the comments, but with my reader.  We are responsible for the company we keep.  The person making the above comments has shown this type of disregard behavior before and it was either ignored and/or accepted.  As I wrote in last week’s entry, “we choose the people we have around us, make them earn that place in your life.” It is all of our responsibility to take inventory on the deposits and withdrawals people make into our lives and the individual saying “what’s the point” will have you on overdraft. 

To my reader to whom this situation is personal to and for all that this story applies to, I strongly suggest having the conversation about how these comments make you feel.  If you are not comfortable having that discussion (sometimes confronting someone can be a scary thing) distance yourself from this person and I highly suggest they do not receive an invite to the wedding.  You want to have wedding guest that are going to share in the love and light of the couple and the ceremony, accept nothing less than that. 

ASHE’

Selah Rey

Accountability and Social Media

Accountability and Social Media

Is social media redefining relationships for better or for worse?

Let’s fist give thanks for the brilliant minds that have created the platforms like twitter, facebook and instagram.  These social media tools have allowed people to reunite and connect with others who are thousands of miles away.  The world has become a more accessible place as a result of social media.  But to everything there is a cost. 

What price are we paying by having so many social networks where pictures of our dinner is liked by a hundred people?

I believe social media has allowed people to technically connect with speed and shallow greeting, but we have lost integrity regarding how to maintain healthy relationships. We lack accountability to others because we can now hide behind smart phone apps.   

On several occasions I have witnessed people announcing the parting of loved ones from this life on facebook.  I am thoroughly confused by this because the facebook announcement is not in addition to individual text or phone calls- it is the primary and only method of communication used.  FOLKS!!!!! This is insane- it shows a clear lack of good old fashioned tact and class. 

We must remember relationships are the primary tool for how our world operates.  If you have forgotten, we still need people to survive.  As human beings we assist others in supplying needs whether its husband to wife, friend to friend, boss to staff or relative to relative- this is a cycle that will not cease until we all cease to exist.  Individuals are ignorantly cutting off their greatest resource and that is their ability to connect wholly with other people.

Big announcements should be personally delivered by phone or text to individuals that you care about.  Understand that when something occurs that is life changing good or bad and you use a social platform to inform those that actually mean something to you- you are changing the dynamics of that relationship.  A social media alert of a death, engagement, and a new job or even a move says to people that may have perceived the relationship with more depth that they are wrong in their perception and how they view the relationship isn’t in alignment with your view.   

Now I understand the dynamics of relationships change especially as people mature. How you may have once viewed someone becomes the thing of fond memories and that is okay and in this case you should use common sense on how to inform.  The best strategy would be to think about how you would want this person to deliver big news to you and allow that to be your guide. 

Social media I believe has allowed people to be cowards.  Facing people, confronting issues one on one and admitting error can be a difficult thing and not all are ready nor built to do that just yet- I get it.  But please get this- as for me I will not acknowledge  any news good or bad from those I know personally on social media.  In protest to this tasteless behavior I will ignore it and await a text or phone call and I petition all of you to do the same.  Raise the level of accountability to the people you have in your life.  You have folks in your life for a reason and we need to make them work at maintaining relationships with us or simply remove them from your proximity if this is too great a task for them to achieve. 

Trust me on this- paying greater care to our responsibility to each other will immediately create happier people. And I think we all can agree we need happier people in this world.

Mother and Daughter

The Mother and Daughter Divide

The mother and daughter relationship can almost be compared to the war between God and Satan. 

What happens in this dynamic?

 I actually do not have a definitive answer for this, but we can work on how we manage the residual effects of it. 

One thing is clear, we can expect most teenagers to give adults a few headaches, but overall everyone makes it out alive.  However, in many cases, once a girl reaches pre-teen and her mother is raising her a huge divide occurs.  We will never be able to have a cookie cutter answer as to why this happens because family dynamics are specific to each family.  Over the years I have observed several traits among the mothers and the daughters that experience this “parting of the red sea”.  I have seen mothers that have insecurities, secrets, relationship pains, development issues and anger issues. I have seen daughters with spirits of resentment, abandonment and rejection. Most of these traits are a result of another on the list, so it will be common to find a mom who is insecure with secrets and angry.  Misery loves company so they all join in- in one person’s mind and spirit. 

As a teenager it will be very difficult to understand the hang ups of a parent because they are dealing with their own growing pains.  Teens are too old for certain behaviors, but not grown enough for other things- it’s a very awkward station in life.  But to the young women and middle aged women who still are holding on to mommy issues- this love letter is for you. 

This letter is channeled from the divine feminine energy that has always been with you

Dear Pretty Girl,

You were created in a perfect image and there is no other like you.  Know that you do not need all the answers at once, but it is your struggles that build your character.  When you felt and when you feel alone I am always with you.  On behalf of your mother, you must understand we do not always know best because we are a parent.  Often times we do the best we know how and if we didn’t see any better we do not know any better from what we do.  It is difficult to admit fault and sometimes we transition from this world never apologizing, but my dear pretty girl, it doesn’t mean we are not sorry.  Things are different in spirit form and things are different when you have a spiritual awakening. 

You are an awesome creature and capable of many accomplishment.  Please go out and be what I dreamt I could be and more.  Release yourself from fears because it will plant seeds of resentment.  Learn from my inaccuracies.  Know that because I was afraid I did not fully grow, but that is the torch for you.  Carry the torch of courage and be on your way- this is what I pray. Beloved pretty girl, I did all I could do.  And to my, dear daughter, let’s make this right, and with chaste, honor and love go rightfully and nobly on the magnificent journey of you…

I hope this letter helps you find peace in your heart, in your mind and in your spirit.

ASHE’

Selah Rey