Accountability and Social Media

Accountability and Social Media

Is social media redefining relationships for better or for worse?

Let’s fist give thanks for the brilliant minds that have created the platforms like twitter, facebook and instagram.  These social media tools have allowed people to reunite and connect with others who are thousands of miles away.  The world has become a more accessible place as a result of social media.  But to everything there is a cost. 

What price are we paying by having so many social networks where pictures of our dinner is liked by a hundred people?

I believe social media has allowed people to technically connect with speed and shallow greeting, but we have lost integrity regarding how to maintain healthy relationships. We lack accountability to others because we can now hide behind smart phone apps.   

On several occasions I have witnessed people announcing the parting of loved ones from this life on facebook.  I am thoroughly confused by this because the facebook announcement is not in addition to individual text or phone calls- it is the primary and only method of communication used.  FOLKS!!!!! This is insane- it shows a clear lack of good old fashioned tact and class. 

We must remember relationships are the primary tool for how our world operates.  If you have forgotten, we still need people to survive.  As human beings we assist others in supplying needs whether its husband to wife, friend to friend, boss to staff or relative to relative- this is a cycle that will not cease until we all cease to exist.  Individuals are ignorantly cutting off their greatest resource and that is their ability to connect wholly with other people.

Big announcements should be personally delivered by phone or text to individuals that you care about.  Understand that when something occurs that is life changing good or bad and you use a social platform to inform those that actually mean something to you- you are changing the dynamics of that relationship.  A social media alert of a death, engagement, and a new job or even a move says to people that may have perceived the relationship with more depth that they are wrong in their perception and how they view the relationship isn’t in alignment with your view.   

Now I understand the dynamics of relationships change especially as people mature. How you may have once viewed someone becomes the thing of fond memories and that is okay and in this case you should use common sense on how to inform.  The best strategy would be to think about how you would want this person to deliver big news to you and allow that to be your guide. 

Social media I believe has allowed people to be cowards.  Facing people, confronting issues one on one and admitting error can be a difficult thing and not all are ready nor built to do that just yet- I get it.  But please get this- as for me I will not acknowledge  any news good or bad from those I know personally on social media.  In protest to this tasteless behavior I will ignore it and await a text or phone call and I petition all of you to do the same.  Raise the level of accountability to the people you have in your life.  You have folks in your life for a reason and we need to make them work at maintaining relationships with us or simply remove them from your proximity if this is too great a task for them to achieve. 

Trust me on this- paying greater care to our responsibility to each other will immediately create happier people. And I think we all can agree we need happier people in this world.

Mother and Daughter

The Mother and Daughter Divide

The mother and daughter relationship can almost be compared to the war between God and Satan. 

What happens in this dynamic?

 I actually do not have a definitive answer for this, but we can work on how we manage the residual effects of it. 

One thing is clear, we can expect most teenagers to give adults a few headaches, but overall everyone makes it out alive.  However, in many cases, once a girl reaches pre-teen and her mother is raising her a huge divide occurs.  We will never be able to have a cookie cutter answer as to why this happens because family dynamics are specific to each family.  Over the years I have observed several traits among the mothers and the daughters that experience this “parting of the red sea”.  I have seen mothers that have insecurities, secrets, relationship pains, development issues and anger issues. I have seen daughters with spirits of resentment, abandonment and rejection. Most of these traits are a result of another on the list, so it will be common to find a mom who is insecure with secrets and angry.  Misery loves company so they all join in- in one person’s mind and spirit. 

As a teenager it will be very difficult to understand the hang ups of a parent because they are dealing with their own growing pains.  Teens are too old for certain behaviors, but not grown enough for other things- it’s a very awkward station in life.  But to the young women and middle aged women who still are holding on to mommy issues- this love letter is for you. 

This letter is channeled from the divine feminine energy that has always been with you

Dear Pretty Girl,

You were created in a perfect image and there is no other like you.  Know that you do not need all the answers at once, but it is your struggles that build your character.  When you felt and when you feel alone I am always with you.  On behalf of your mother, you must understand we do not always know best because we are a parent.  Often times we do the best we know how and if we didn’t see any better we do not know any better from what we do.  It is difficult to admit fault and sometimes we transition from this world never apologizing, but my dear pretty girl, it doesn’t mean we are not sorry.  Things are different in spirit form and things are different when you have a spiritual awakening. 

You are an awesome creature and capable of many accomplishment.  Please go out and be what I dreamt I could be and more.  Release yourself from fears because it will plant seeds of resentment.  Learn from my inaccuracies.  Know that because I was afraid I did not fully grow, but that is the torch for you.  Carry the torch of courage and be on your way- this is what I pray. Beloved pretty girl, I did all I could do.  And to my, dear daughter, let’s make this right, and with chaste, honor and love go rightfully and nobly on the magnificent journey of you…

I hope this letter helps you find peace in your heart, in your mind and in your spirit.

ASHE’

Selah Rey

Critical Mind - Anxiety Life

Being Critical leads to Individual Anxiety

You ever feel like you are running, chasing, running and chasing and end up nowhere??? 

What we are discussing today may not directly apply to you (yeah right), but it applies to someone you know or have known. 

Recently, I overheard a woman discussing the dimples in another woman’s derrière. The woman being talked about was actually a very attractive young lady and shaped like the girl Tahiry on the show Love and Hip Hop New York.  I wanted to interject on that conversation, but I told myself “self, mind your business and write about it because you don’t know how people will react, and ya mama has no bail money.”

I was quickly moved to a feeling of frustration because it’s becoming overwhelming the amount of pressure women put on each other.  And I wonder if you ladies know that if everyone looked the same and fit in the same mold the world would be devastatingly boring. 

And here is some truth- men do not place the same physical types of expectations on women as we do to each other.  There is this terrible trait of criticism we dish out; but here is the kicker in your ass for that- you will likely feel like you do not add up to some ghostly expectation you have set up for yourself.  Having a spirit of criticism about you will yield YOU no positive return except anxiety.  You will probably find yourself in a constant race and an unending feeling of dissatisfaction.  These feelings are birthed from your own defense mechanism of criticism. Usually very critical people are unhappy with various aspects of themselves and they have yet to evolve high enough to understand the old grandma adage, “you get more bees with honey.”

Also, many of us subscribe to the law of karma, but we fail to realize that karmic flow also responds to our thought life.  If we believe that what we think shall manifest, then we should certainly believe there is some form of consequence for ill thoughts. 

If you find yourself at an unhappy or displeasing station in life, please know that it is just a station and that if you attempted to operate from a place of love, grace and mercy- the same favor will rain down on you.  I’m registered to the school of Universal Law (later we will go deeper into that) and as a student of Universal Law allow me to petition you to examine your thought life especially if you find that you are going crazy (emotionally, mentally, and socially). Chances are the anxiety you are feeling about your life is probably self-induced from the air of criticism you walk in. 

Ladies, change your game.  Being dismissive, condescending, critical, rude and disrespectful to your female counterparts is simply LAME… 

ASHE

Selah Rey

Act as if "What do you want?"

Ok we have heard it a million times- the economy is bad, but so. Are we just to sit idle and watch the days turn to nights and nights into next month?
Do not let perceived realities fog your vision or stop your flow.
We all have dreams, desires and expectations for our lives and sometimes it all just becomes very overwhelming. You look around and your thirtieth birthday has come and gone. And I bet you anticipated having several degrees, a husband, a career and some house or condo in the city or suburb.

Oh well, it didn’t happen that way, but it doesn’t mean you’re out game.

I believe our first step to live liberated lives is to free ourselves from the chains of time. Time is an illusion (later in our literary life together I will explain more on illusions). Women particularly become very hung up on using their age as markers for their life. The downfall with using your age as your scale is you will most certainly have disappointments. We must begin to understand that maturity happens according to an individual’s experience and custom made journey, therefore not all things are fitting for the time you may have allotted for it to occur.

What we can begin doing is to understand what we want. Sometimes we fool ourselves into believing we know what we want, but most often it is based off of images we are fed through media. You have to really come into an awakening of who you are in order to make a good determination of what you want. And typically that awakening occurs through some form of struggle, that was “custom made” just for you.

Once you can establish a solid idea of what you want, you need to act as if. A more common term for act as if is “fake it till you make it”. I cannot subscribe to the fake it till you make it theme because there is an energetic consequence of faking it. Acting as if means to have your conscious mind actively believing in the things you want. Surround yourself with activities, people and products that reflect what you want. This process will begin to awaken your subconscious to your desires. Add that (unwavering) mustard seed faith and prepare to be transformed…

So share with me: You intend to act as if by doing_______?


AHSE
Selah Rey

Let us begin

You have the right to remain single.
You have the right to not have children.
You have the right to be career driven and desire wealth.

In this day and age one would think the above would not have to be stated, but as television becomes more of a primary educator than a teacher- positive reinforcement is an immediate necessity.

The New Girl Order blog desires to take its readers and followers on a journey of self reflection, renewal and controversy- and fill you with blonde, red and brunette ambition.
We will focus on the "walk" of women and the things we encounter along the road.

At no point within our literary experience with each other will men become targets of frustration or the scapegoat for crimes against ourselves...

Frequently, we will read views and opinions from different women with various backgrounds including: professional leadership, domestic domination and corporate gypsies.
I desire that we keep an open mind and softened heart so that the energy of what we give here fluidly transcends to you.


In love-stand strong
ASHE
Selah Rey