They do what you allow

They will do what you allow them to do…

If you have watched any television program or have any involvement in social media or have a network of friends, you have been a witness of some woman in distress over the behavior of her partner.  Women are mad, pissed off, annoyed, jaded, abandoned, rejected and just feeling unloved and unappreciated.  Do they have a right to feel this way? Of course. But, what concerns me is what behaviors women are tolerating that keeps them in the spin cycle of mad, pissed off, jaded, rejected and the rest. 

I would first like to attack- yes attack an action I have personally been on the receiving end of that women do.  Many times when a female gets into a relationship she can become head over heels in love and in that romantic bliss she somehow magically forgets she has friends, but she quickly remembers those friends when the alleged gentleman begins to make her feel like all the descriptive words above.  The danger in that is not only the potential loss of friendship, but you cut off outlets that help balance you out.  The male partner is unable to fulfill all the needs of a woman.  If you didn’t know women and men speak two different languages. 

Now on to the actual issue- tolerating cyclic behavior.  I find it interesting that women are more tolerable and forgiving of a man’s crap, but if another woman did anything remotely close to a man’s BS that woman would be swiftly cut off.  This is a very odd double standard and I invite you to explain it to me. 

Ladies, a lot of you are mad because you allow yourself to be the repeat receiver of various forms of abuse; continuous cheating, missed birthday’s, lack of quality time, unequal share of responsibilities and the greatest of all is your abuse of self and a dependency on that man to make you happy.  Trust me when I say this, if you invest time, money and energy into learning, defining and refining yourself- you will hands down tolerate less mess from ANYONE and whomever you are with will step up to get your attention and meet you where you are at or you will step out to get what you deserve. 

I believe so many of us allow men to be repeat offenders in our lives because we are afraid of being lonely.  For my under thirty girls I feel this is just a rite of passage, but to my Miss Thang’s over thirty, you all know better.  Take a chance on yourself.  And I am not saying nor promoting that women do not need men in their lives, but you need good, supportive, insightful, loving masculine men. 

The call to action here is to stop letting men and actually anyone do as they please with you, remember before you complain, they are only doing what you are allowing them to do.  So if you feel people are taking advantage of you, using or overlooking you, it is because YOU are ALLOWING it…

Switch Ya Style Up!

ASHE’

Selah Rey